I started out juggling on the streets of San Francisco. (The actual streets, not the TV show) I moved quickly onto the sidewalk. I discovered that while in fact a lot of people would watch me juggle in the street, they mostly were waiting to see if I'd be hit by a car.

I knew that in order to be successful I would need a higher education. I applied and was accepted into one of the world's most sought after institutes of higher learning, Ringling Brother's, Barnum, and Bailey Clown College. After much hard work I graduated Magna cum Laude. I'm proud to say that I was voted "Most likely to succeed" and "Class Clown." I have photos of myself with both Bozo and Ronald that I might once and for all squash the rumors that I am either of those distinguished gentlemen.

I will admit that my career hasn't always been the bed of roses that it is currently. I've tried many of the fruits in this cornucopia that is "showbiz."

I'm not ashamed to say that I've even worked as a bunny, Pac-man, owl, tiger, and as a bunch of carrots. I was the romantic lead in a Barry Manilow video that leapt to the number one spot in West Germany. These experiences have helped to mold me into the man I am today.

I quit juggling at one point during my career so that I could write and perform sketch comedy and improvisation at the Comedy Workshop in Houston Texas. I learned much during this time, but the lesson I most remember is that improvisation pays quite poorly. After a year in the Comedy Workshop's resident company, MasterCard suggested that I return to variety performing.

I landed a cushy job in Canada riding my six foot tall unicycle on a hard white plastic surface that was sprayed nightly with vegetable oil. They called it fake ice. Whatever. I knew my career was back on the right track.

Currently I'm appearing in the "Lance Burton, Master Magician" show at the Monte Carlo Hotel in Las Vegas. I've been working in Lance's show pretty much every day since July 3, 1991, which was, coincidentally, the first day of the show. I guess Lance is happy with my work. And why not? My accomplishments are many. I can say chainsaw in three languages. I juggle bean bag chairs. Life is good.

That's the end of the cute "comedy" part. Every word of this biography is true. I've left out an extensive amount of normal resume' stuff because it is, well... normal. I've worked all of the places you might expect of a comedian and juggler.

Since there is some slight chance you are looking for more actual information, I have included some:

I was a Writer/Magic consultant for "Penn and Teller's Sin City Spectacular" on FX.

I performed for a year in the "Folies Bergiere" at the Tropicana Hotel, Las Vegas and at least a dozen other "Las Vegas Style" shows in Las Vegas, Atlantic City, New York, Miami, and for some strange reason, Valley Forge, PA. I've worked on a few cruise lines, but mostly on Norwegian Cruise Lines and Holland America.

I was a Ringling Brother's, Barnum, and Bailey Circus Clown from 1979 to 1981. A few years later I was asked to return as a Gag writing instructor at their Clown College.

I have performed my act in Paris, Madrid, Tokyo, Budapest, and Santiago. I learned my act in French, Spanish, Japanese, and (gulp) Hungarian. I managed to do this in spite of the fact that I speak none of these languages well enough to ask for a glass of water. I even won some sort of award in Budapest. I stood up and accepted the award when my name was called. I don't know what it's for.

I write and perform shows for corporate events with a company called Comedy Industries. You can check out our company's client list and other information at: www.ComedyIndustries.com.

I also write comedy material for other variety acts.